| Monday, February 26, 2007 |
| The Problem of Pain |
is very real indeed. We've all seen pain, experienced pain, wished it away and wondered why it is around. Physical pain is all too real, but I think in my daily encounters, its the emotional pain that really affects people. So sometime ago I started reading CS Lewis' book (title above). Not that I think it'll hold all the answers, but its been helpful so far, though a little deep at times.
Why does pain exist? Well, put simply, we are fallen creatures, imperfect because we have the capacity for being wicked. And much as I don't like to admit to this, I have to say yes, it is true. Because we have free will, and because we do bad things (in whatever magnitude), pain will exist as a consequence of bad deeds. Even the smallest thing like eating something out of the communal fridge that doesn't belong to me - its small, but its wrong and has consequences.
But what is the point of pain? Here's where we've got to take a step back. We were made by God to live under his loving rule. But instead of doing so, we rebel and do not want to acknowledge him as Lord over our lives. It is difficult however, to consider that we've gone astray when things are hunky dory. So pain can be used by God as a way of bringing to our attention our spiritual state. Which sometimes is so apparent- because we are all happy people when things are fine- but when things go wrong, where does hope come from? How can I say that I will still bless the Lord? Is it not only because He is God and is worthy of praise? Without that trial period, how will I realize that I have something eternal that I can hold on to (or am missing)? And the old argument is such that if there is no pain, how are we to appreciate times without pain? But I'm not saying all this because I advocate pain.. goodness no. I don't like it, and usually ask that it be taken away. One of the things I've been learning is how to say, "if it be your will". Because that is what is most important - that if I am suffering (in whatever sense of the word) and He wants to use that suffering for some purpose,then I hope I will be obedient to that.
Recent research has shown that when we emphatize with others who are in physical pain, some of the brain areas that are involved during the pain experience will be activated in our own brains. Implication? That we do feel more than our own pain. Not too sure if this applies to emotional pain, but I have a feeling that if we really care, it probably does. So? So I want to be pointing others to my source of comfort during pain. Simplistically, it would be selfish of me not to. But honestly, it would be irresponsible and uncaring if I didn't.
As Lewis puts it "...nor have I anything to offer my readers except my conviction that when pain is to be borne,
a little courage helps more than much knowledge,
a little human sympathy more than much courage,
and the least tincture of the love of God more than all. |
posted by wenster @ 11:40 PM  |
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| Wednesday, February 21, 2007 |
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Porky update:
He is now fixed and well again, thanks to one very patient historian. Symptoms of an exposed and knotted inner tube were treated with levers and lots of untangling. Once CPR was performed however, the true cause of his affliction became known. He had a puncture. This diagnosis was followed with a water basin (or in his case, a bin filled with water) scan to determine the site of the lesion. The site was quickly discovered and cleaned up. Once the necessary surgery was completed, CPR was administered again and porky was revived. |
| posted by wenster @ 6:41 PM |
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| Thursday, February 15, 2007 |
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So we got talking about what annoys us today. And it really made me think - what traits really get to me? Which part of the human character makes me grind my teeth in exasperation? My take on it is this:
1. self-centered people.
For reasons unknown, its always about them. No matter where the conversation starts out, it will turn around, forcibly or no, to them and whatever happened to them or the time when, or my whoever etc. You know what I mean. I count this as a small annoyance though, because well, unless I really want them to hear something, I'm quite alright with them babbling on. Its the fact that they don't seem to care enough about what I have to say that gets to me.
2. those who are insecure with self, and try to make others look bad because of that
Now this tends to be a little more subtle (or not). Yes sure, you may be able to do this better your way, but is it really necessary to point that out to everyone just so that you can look good? Same applies for he/she who likes to speak with full authority and take over the conversation topic even though the real knowledge at hand is usually less than the volume/speed of speech. In the same vein, I dislike being used as a measuring stick. If you're trying to impress someone, don't use me as the "bad example" (unless I really am, in which case, be merciful!). 3. those who don't think I'm good enough for them
Enough said? Maybe. I was wondering about how friendships dissolve and form - most of the time it is a natural thing, and its not something to be avoided or lauded. But there have been times when there is conscious rejection, expressed through lack of interest, non-including etc. And I'm sure there have been times when I have been guilty of that, and for that I repent. Because surely noone has the right to say that he is better than another or more worthy of time and attention. Worse still is when they try to look good by being outwardly "nice" in their manner, but it is obvious that they don't give a half penny (or banana note even) about your existence.
All this has been based on previous experience of course, but not all from the same person or at the same time -so its more of a rant about failures of us humans as a collective. But to think that we (myself included) do this to God almost all the time! Whenever I pray, there is usually a list of some sort that I go through, asking for help, for comfort, for this, that, this other person, that cause... and I can only begin to see how self-centered I am. And rejection, goodness - how many times have I thought of myself as the master of my own life? If I really were, I'd know when I will die, or when and who I will marry and if I'll ever graduate etc. The fact is, I don't. Essentially, I'm rejecting His sovereignity and His wisdom. Instead of acknowledging him, I'm putting something/someone else into that place of honour. Its scary, because where your heart is, there your treasure is also... and I don't want my treasure to be of this kingdom, I want it to be everlasting.
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| posted by wenster @ 9:29 PM |
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| Tuesday, February 13, 2007 |
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 St Peter's: chapel, lodge and library, spired tower not included.
 Isis river: a part of the Thames, but to be different, its not called the Thames. Also spot where rowers tend to gather. I wonder why.  Modern art, Green College style. Pictures courtesy of camera happy moments. More available at the usual place (snapshots of life will lead there) |
| posted by wenster @ 2:15 PM |
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| Monday, February 12, 2007 |
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Porky broke.
Well, he didn't so much break as he did let the back tyre come out of the holding thingy such that the inflatable bit part of the wheel got totally stuck in the other metal frame widget. So instead of going to lecture like I'm supposed to, I'm now giving myself extra time for my essay (which is due very soon and is currently very undone) and also putting some of the multitude of the things running through my head down.
There is something about the middle of the month of february that turns people into silly/soppy/angry/miserable/ditzy/cantankerous/apathetic/busy maniacs. Honestly. For a very sweet moment on friday I was so caught up in the things that I had to do that when I looked at the whole row of love movies on a rack in HMV, I asked my friend in bewilderment "Why are there so many movies about love here?" To which she gives me an incredulous look (I'm sure she still thinks I'm half an idoit). But it was lovely, to forget all that was being stuffed in my face from every shop window, every internet ad, every conversation and worry that I hear. Some say that those on the singular side of things will inevitably dislike the day. Sour grapes, if one were to put it unkindly. But I am convinced that its not a lack of a "someone special" that is the root of my opinions at this present moment. Take friend A for example. She's continually falling in and out of relationships - I have not known her for very long, but she's been through several ins and outs and nary is there a day when we don't hear her moaning about not having the right guy. At some point last term it seemed to settle, but truly, if we're not complete people on our own, how can we presume to be able to carry on a relationship? (basis of this quote courtesy of a very wise dude in college, who said it to someone else who then found it appropriate to repeat to me) And the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. Sure, it sounds great to hear that you complete someone, its like it gives you a sense of purpose, a sense of being required. But is it not selfish to use someone else to complete you? If I can't handle my own issues, if I'm not happy with myself and the way things are with my life, then what makes one think that things will be better with one other person in the picture? Surely the troubles will be compounded/multiplied/to the power of 2? Don't get me wrong though. I agree that God made (most of) us for relationships with the other gender, and I do believe that we were made to complement each other. But I am positive that there is a line between completing and complementing. Back to friend A - she's positively outgoing, but (and this may seem like an arrogant analysis) I get the feeling that it boils down to insecurities, to have the need to have a guy in her life at all times so that she doesn't feel like she's unwanted. At some point last year, we had a funny conversation where it was implied that if she was single, she would be "like the rest of you guys". Funny - I don't think its that bad a position to be in. And the other thing is that when there is that other person, you feel like you don't need anyone else. Well, isn't that what my relationship with God is supposed to be like? Its unfair to monopolize (or lay claim to having authority over) a person's attention and time because that is then sending the message that the person belongs to you, when truly, do we even like having our parents do that to us?
I've had some pretty good conversations with various people over the last few days pertaining to relationships. It seems like at this point in life (or at this point in the year, although I don't remember having this much of a hoohaa last year), we're all thinking about it. Helps that there are some good examples and some fastforward ones in my life that make me reflect. Do I want one? Yes. For the right reasons? I cannot be sure yet. Is it imperative otherwise there is something wrong with me? No, I sure hope not. They are important, but they're not the end of the world. They contribute to the quality of life, but cannot be used as the sole measure of it. At the end of the day, there is only one lasting relationship - and that is the one that I'm going to try to invest my everything in. All else will follow naturally after. |
| posted by wenster @ 10:08 AM |
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